“The Rules & Regulations of “Black Friday” by Brydell

Posted: November 17, 2012 in Uncategorized

Black Friday is the day when mankind proves yet again that niggas will literally kill someone for a 60 inch flat screen TV. The irony of giving thanks on Thanksgiving the day after, niggas will plow, stampede, and fight over material posessions like it’s the Hunger Games. You’ll see people grabbing their sleeping bags and tents and flock to the entrance of the Walmart, Bestbuy, or Target at midnight, waiting for the store to open at around 4AM.

Rule 1.) Be Cautious: The nanosecond that the doors swing open, you better brace yourself, because the apocalypse has begun. Within seconds, some nigga who ABSOLUTELY MUST be first in line will plow through the massive crowd, stepping on children and endangering the lives of other humans and sprinting down the aisles looking for the TV section just so he can have it made on Sundays when the NFL games are on.

Rule 2.) Have Some Kind of Protection: Baseball Bat, Pepper Spray, or even better… a gun. Riddle me this, rapper Slim Dunkin died over a bag of Gummy Bears, therefore that nigga standing in line with a Du-rag has no problem killing you over that Apple Computer.

Rule 3.) Remember That “Sale” Doesn’t Always Mean Cheaper: Just because the sign says “sale” doesn’t mean it’s really a sale many stores are advertising cheap prices for liquidation but you should make a list of the items you’ve been eyeing and check with Amazon and you’ll find there’s no difference between the regular and so-called “sale” prices… You’re welcome.

Every year, someone gets pushed over, and everyone just tramples all over them, paying no mind to the wellbeing of the adults and sometimes babies that suffer injury from the greedy niggas that participate in this day. If you want to shop at all on Black Friday, you’d best do it at the crack of dawn, because by 10AM every last item on the shelf will be gone. And if by some divine miracle you’re able to make it out of the train wreck at the front door with all of your body parts intact, you have to fucking fly to get to the things you want. As soon as you reach for that flat screen, some jealous nigga will punch you in the face and take it right from you. That’s how ignorant and retarded the people of the world are these days… And yet, the stores still celebrate this day.

Follow Me On Twitter: @Bdell1014

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Comments
  1. I’m really impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself? Anyway keep up the nice quality writing, it is rare to see a great blog like this one these days..

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