Archive for July, 2013

The closer you follow and abide these top 5 rules, the easier you will find and keep real, true unconditional love and happiness in your life. Cuffing Season will be here right before you know it, so soak up these gems and apply it to your love life my niggas.

Rule 1: Make her jealous

You gotta flirt with other chicks in front of your girl just to let her know bad bitches still want you. Do not dissuade other women from flirting with you. Women will never admit this but jealousy excites them. The thought of you turning on another woman will arouse her sexually. No chick wants a man that no other woman wants. The partner who harnesses the gale storm of jealousy controls the direction of the relationship.

Rule 2: Never say “I Love You” first

Women want to feel like they have to overcome obstacles to win a nigga’s heart. They crave the challenge of capturing the interest of a man who has other women competing for his attention, and eventually prevailing over his grudging reluctance to award his committed exclusivity. A nigga who gives his emotional world away too easily robs women of the satisfaction of earning his love. Though you may be in love with her, don’t say it before she has said it or you’ll end up in the Hospital like Martin Lawrence on “Thin Line Between Love & Hate.” Show compassionate restraint for her need to struggle toward yin fulfillment. Inspire her to take the leap for you, and she’ll return the favor a thousand fold.

Rule 3: Fuck her good

Fuck her like it’s your last fuck. And hers. Fuck her so good, so hard, so wantonly, so profligately that she is left a quivering and falling down like a baby deer when she gets up to go to the bathroom, sparking mass of shaking flesh and sex fluids. Drain her of everything my nigga, then drain her some more. Kiss her all over, make love to her all night, and hold her close in the morning. Own her body, own her gratitude, own her love. If you don’t know how, learn to give her squirting orgasms…. Also, if yall ever get in an argument one day, remember that make-up sex is worth the argument and if you can’t sex your way out of an argument, you’re not good at it.

Rule 4: Never be afraid to lose her

You must not fear my niggas. Fear is the love-killer. Fear is the ego-triumph that brings abject “Drake loneliness” that will have you in Marvin’s Room just crying your eyes out. You will face your fear. You will permit it to pass over and through you. And when your ego-fear is gone you will turn and face your lover, and only your heart will remain. You will walk away from her when she has violated your integrity, and you will let her walk when her heart is closed to you. She who can destroy you, controls you. Don’t give her that power over yourself or she’ll own your soul. Love yourself before you love her.

Rule 5: Say you’re sorry only when absolutely necessary

Do not say you’re sorry for every wrong thing you do. Apologizing increases the demand for more apologies. She will come to expect your contrition, like a cat expects a bowl of milk at a set time each day. And then your value will lower in her eyes. Instead, if you have done something wrong, you should acknowledge your guilt in a glancing way without resorting to the actual words “I’m sorry.” Pull the Bill Clinton maneuver and say “Mistakes were made” or tell her you “feel bad” about what you did. You are granted ONLY 2 freebie “I’m sorry”s for the life of your relationship, use them wisely my niggas.

Follow Me On Twitter @Bdell1014

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Trayvon_Martin_cartoon_1200pixelsI wasn’t going to blog about this topic because it’s a touchy subject but I am now so fuck it. Every since Zimmerman was found not guilty, I haven’t seen one tweet about the supportance of Trayvon. Ya’ll was just fake mad for retweets… and for those who are still caught up in the frenzy of the Zimmerman trial, still angry as hell over how he was able to get off: you’re missing the point. This case was never about a stupid little man who killed an unarmed teenager. There were much bigger issues at play.

Side Note: Do some research before you come on Twitter throwing opinions around.

Political careers and billions of corporate dollars were at stake. Like the bigger issue of nationwide gun control. And the issue of the criminalization of black males, which leads to the issue of tougher laws only aimed at black people; and ultimately to mass incarceration of black folks. The jig is up damnit… this is what Kanye was basically talking about in his hit single “New Slaves” that dropped. “See they’ll confuse us with some bullshit like the New World Order, Meanwhile the DEA, Teamed up with the CCA, They tryna lock niggas up, They tryna make new slaves, See that’s that private owned prison Get your piece today.”- Kanye

Which leads into the bigger issue of the prison industry, which is a billion dollar business in America. Did you know that prisons are now openly traded on the NY Stock Exchange? Look up Corrections Corp of America. And they’re just one out of many such companies that manage state, federal and local prisons for profit. It’s no accident that black folks make up 13% of the US population and over 70% of the prison population. That’s by design!

Now put on your thinking glasses for a minute my niggas: the only way a company can insure its investors of a return on their investment, it has to have a system in place to guarantee its revenues. So how can prisons guarantee to keep themselves full of prisoners in order to make a profit for its investors, unless they have a system already in place that will ensure their prisons stay full? Hmmmmm. Think about that…

This is where you get your mandatory sentencing from, the get tough on crime political rhetoric; the sudden decline of black schools (especially in Chicago) and the sudden increase of prisons being built. This is where you also get the daily parading of black faces as criminals nightly on the evening news, when statistically blacks do drugs and kill blacks at the same rate that whites do drugs and kill other whites. But you only see the stories about the black criminals, leaving you with the false impression that black males are inherently prone to more violence and crime than others. Which leads right back to Trayvon and Zimmerman.

This wasn’t about Zimmerman who killed an unarmed black kid. It was about protecting the investments of people who make a lot of money from keeping black men in the criminal system. It was about ensuring that system remains in place without interruption. Because it generates a ton of money for a lot of people.

That’s why now you see folks like Rush Limbaugh and other conservatives vilifying Trayvon as some sort of thug. When anyone who knows anything about a thug can clearly see this kid was NOT it.

Black folks are still playing checkers, when the real game has always been CHESS. We’ve just been checked… Stay woke my niggas.

Follow Me On Twitter: @Bdell1014

hoederella

I know I have touched on the tactics of hoes this in previous posts, but I believe that it is now important enough to warrant it’s own write-up. Basically, whenever you’re at a party, you’re having a good time, and then all of a sudden, 12:00AM rolls around, and the realization that you can’t buy liquor anymore hits you (Unless it’s Saturday night, in which case, shit, we’re good!). All of a sudden, all those girls who seemed so wonderful and classy just a few minutes ago have completely transformed into “Sinderella.”

“Sinderella”= A bitch who once was innocent until the clock striked 12AM and she loses her glass slipper, her clothes, and all her dignity for a little liquor.

At 11:42 you can hear the girls talking amongst each other “OMG, I have so much dignity”, but when 12:00AM rolls around and they are on a mission to procure any remaining drinks, it is more like “fuck dignity, I just want a drink you see, and some dick in me!” Buttons start getting undone, cleavage evolves from just being able to make out the breast, and they begin to be more promiscuous. In order to capitalize on this as much as possible, you must think ahead enough to reserve a stash of alcohol for later in the night when it will do you the most good. Obviously, I don’t condone the use of alcohol to pull hoes, but think of it as a friendly fishing, these hoes are going to bite somebody’s line (figuratively, hopefully) why not toss your bait in the water and see if you can wiggle it enough to catch something.

Don’t be one of those niggas who gives up his drinks with no return on your investment, you don’t even have to be disrespectful or exploitational. It is very possible to be a stand-up guy and still lay a chick down. Basically, keep a reserve stash as long as you’d like, and when the hoes all make their rounds looking for shots and beers, choose your timing wisely. Let them deplete everybody else’s surplus and then when they finally come around to you, make your move my nigga.

What it comes down to, is that after 12 o’clock, the one with the remaining drinks usually make the rules. If a girl wants a beer or a shot of Ciroc, tell her that she has to chug it out of her best friend’s boobs. Throw something ridiculous out there and see how badly she really wants a drink.

Next, I’ve had a lot of people ask me how they are supposed to know which hoes are the most desperate for alcohol when the time comes. It is pretty simple, just keep your eyes open and observe the surroundings. The most desperate hoes usually come in 3 types.

1. The “Bottom of the Liquor Drinkers”- Their is usually at least one girl (more dudes do this however) who traces a route around the party keeping an eagle-eye out for somebody to put down their beer when they’re done with it, or goes on a hunt searching for unfinished beers and shots. By doing this she is able to find a handful of beers (warm, usually) that have not been finished, and sometimes have as little as just one sip left in them. This is the most desperate as she is already throwing fear of cooties out the window and is basically saying “fuck it, I’m not letting this sip go to waste”. You know what this also says? She doesn’t mind taking a little shot of liquid in her mouth from anybody at the party. Pass this girl off to the most desperate dude in your group.

2. The “Hey, Nice to Meet You, But Only After 12:00 Girl”- You’ve been at the party for a good 2 hours, and this hoe has been curving you 90mph like a MLB pitcher the whole night. However, once the alcohol starts running low, she becomes oh so friendly and has never been so eager to take part in your conversation and learn all about you. That interest only lasts a good 45 seconds though before she broaches a new topic. “Oh my god, somebody took my beer, this is terrible! Can I have yours?” What she failed to mention though, was that beer that somebody “took” was actually a random bottle she grabbed off the table right before she walked over to engage a conversation with you. Depending on your response, she will make this same round around the whole party. Usually, my response to this hoe would be a bit of challenge. If she remembers my name, sure, she can get a beer, but usually from my Keystone stash. If she doesn’t, adios bitch. (Disclaimer: Not every girl who wants to meet you after midnight is a mooching hoe, some are genuinely interested in you. To judge which of the two they are, judge how long they bother to stay around and how long it takes for them to ask for a drink. Less than a minute, and I think you have your answer.)3.

The “Girl Who Changes Into Something More Comfortable”- This is usually the most interesting and most enjoyable, if only for the fact that they usually lose a layer of clothing in order to command more attention and perhaps ease into their seduction just cause the clock strike 12AM. Very commonly, especially in the summer as the night goes on, will change outfits. This could mean they go to their car to take off their jeans and put on a skirt, go into the bathroom to take their panties or bra off, or just take their shirt off in front of anybody. By doing this, they get a step up on the other hoes. However, sometimes this can lead to comical occurrences, including a girl who says she is going to change real quickly and comes back wearing a swimsuit at a location without a pool. Perhaps she could be saying, secretly, that she is looking to get wet? Take note of this hoe and keep in mind that she was willing to strip down without provocation, who knows what could happen if there is alcoholic incentives involved…. Stay woke my niggas.

Basically, the point of this is to keep your eyes open if you’re attempting to get some legs open. Even if you aren’t, there is still quality entertainment to be had once the clock strikes 12AM and their is a free for all for all things free. However, at the same time, if you are the one with the last alcohol, be careful, niggas mooch just as hard as hoes and are much more annoying. Make sure to have your fun before the hoes get to desperate and decide to head to a bar in hopes of lame niggas buying them drinks there. However, realize that after 2AM, any remaining alcohol is worth even more! A sip for a nip if you’re lucky.

Also realize that the best wingman will alley oop his best friends drinks like Chris Paul at the point before he tosses anything to a hoe. Bros before hoes especially with brews, don’t forget that. Dumb hoes will be around forever, but good friends are hard to find. Who knows, you may need their surplus in your future endeavors. Oh well, until next time, keep your pimp hand strong, your personal bar stocked, and use hoes as entertainment whenever you can cause when the clock strikes 12:00, Cinderella loses her glass slipper, and all her clothes if she’s drunk enough.

Follow Me On Twitter: @Bdell1014

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My niggas, has the Pussy Stock Market Crashed?

We currently live in a world where we have a financial crisis. There is a lot of talk about maybe having a change in currency, how to move forward in society financially for the betterment of the people and also what got us to the point of financial hard times. What are the things we need to do to prevent these types of problems from happening again? Well as that remains to be seen, there is different things outside of the financial structure being affected and changed as well. America is a Super Power because of its ability ( at its highest points) to trade goods and produce financial gain for itself and surrounding countries. I know your asking yourself, where is Brydell going with this?? Well you have to understand the most important factor of the world which is finances and how trading and producing more with the invested money co aside with another major thing in our society…. The pussy! Yes the Pussy once posted one of the highest values of any consumer product known to man kind. When pussy went on the clock? It would be PP (penis pandemonium) to get shares of that pussy. Pussy once went for very high rates per share, but in recent years those stocks have plummeted. Why might you ask?? What happened with the pussy that it’s no longer a good investment?? I’m here to break it down for you on what has happened and how to access your pussy to know if it’s value has crashed. Now the first thing you must realize is, their will be bailouts for the pussy. This will be important later, but just keep that in mind as I go through this.

Once upon the time, the pussy held great power in the trading goods department. Since the beginning of time, women have been trading pussy for personal gain. Remember Adam and Eve? Remember the Garden of Eden?? Remember the forbidden fruit? You guys thought they were talking about a actual garden, apple and stuff right? WRONG! That was about the PUSSY! Yes…the pussy! See God made Adam and Eve right? He told Adam “Adam my son, I will put you in this place where you can have anything you want, but I only forbid you from one thing!” Adam says “what my god?” God looks at Adam and says “ Do you see that other being over there? I forbid you from getting the pussy! That is a forbidden pussy my child”. Adam says “ o ok.. No problem my father. I must not have that forbidden pussy.” The problem was Adam didn’t even know what Pussy was but didn’t want to question God. So what happened after that? Here comes Eve thick ass walking over to Adam. Adam sizing her up and he was thinking “damn I wonder why this piece of flesh on feels like a tree branch.” Eve then shows him a hairy garden and says “Adam may you find what’s inside of my garden?” “I’m not sure what’s inside of your garden!” Adam says “but I most certainly may help you. I have a hard stick type utensil I will look with ”. Then he went into that garden and proceeded to stroke that Garden. That was the beginning of pussy being traded. The first sin in mankind was PUSSY!

From that point, Pussy has evolved. Women soon came to learn how valuable the pussy was. Maids used it to get Kings, Slaves used it to be house slaves, Marilyn Monroe used it to become famous and fuck presidents. Pussy was at a all time high in the early 90’s. You seen women fuck their way to the top of music, fashion, movies, even in the business world. Pussy was a very feasible investment. Ask any pimp you may know and ask them when was the most profitable pussy times. Pussy was the equivalent to gasoline now. Pussy was going for 4.89 a gallon back then.

So what changed? Why is the pussy now at a all time low? Well its simple, supply and demand. When other women started to see how other women were very profitable with their pussy’s, they too attempted to cash in. Problem was, not all pussy’s was created equal. You had a lot of pussy’s entering the stock market that wasn’t prepared. Now you have a stock market over crowded with pussy. The Pussy slowly devalued because once at one time you had sit down dine in, menu, wine and good steak pussy, but now its McDouble, Redbox and box wine pussy. Before you had to be selective with the pussy you went after because it could effect you for a while if you invested in the wrong pussy, but now? No problem just go get you some from the dollar menu pussy. Will dollar menu pussy be the same as sit down dine in pussy? No, but I bet your ass still get full! Sometimes its not about getting the best pussy, more times than not its about getting the most convenient pussy. See women be out here giving up the pussy for the low so men dont have to over invest in the pussy no more. Why go spend the time investing in something for the long haul when you can make 10 quick flips before you would see any gain from a more challenging flip?

There is no reason for any man to wait around for pussy these days, so ladies making a man wait and all of that type of stuff is pointless. While you’re trying to get all you can out of your pussy, it’s a endless supply of dollar menu pussy’s out here. So while you stuck on being the 3$ Big Mac on the Menu, he can just get a $1 McDouble, add lettuce and big mac sauce for 50 cent and for half the price have pretty much have the same sandwich. Truth is ladies if you want to up the value of your pussy? You must up the sales pitch so you can have bailout money to fall back on. For you who just totally missed the concept, Your pussy has crashed so try to convince a man to bail you out. In other words UP YOU! Because your pussy wont get you any further on the market than what the shares of the next pussy is going for.