“Hoes Go From Being Cinderella To Sinderella When The Clock Strikes 12AM” by @Bdell1014

Posted: July 9, 2013 in Uncategorized

hoederella

I know I have touched on the tactics of hoes this in previous posts, but I believe that it is now important enough to warrant it’s own write-up. Basically, whenever you’re at a party, you’re having a good time, and then all of a sudden, 12:00AM rolls around, and the realization that you can’t buy liquor anymore hits you (Unless it’s Saturday night, in which case, shit, we’re good!). All of a sudden, all those girls who seemed so wonderful and classy just a few minutes ago have completely transformed into “Sinderella.”

“Sinderella”= A bitch who once was innocent until the clock striked 12AM and she loses her glass slipper, her clothes, and all her dignity for a little liquor.

At 11:42 you can hear the girls talking amongst each other “OMG, I have so much dignity”, but when 12:00AM rolls around and they are on a mission to procure any remaining drinks, it is more like “fuck dignity, I just want a drink you see, and some dick in me!” Buttons start getting undone, cleavage evolves from just being able to make out the breast, and they begin to be more promiscuous. In order to capitalize on this as much as possible, you must think ahead enough to reserve a stash of alcohol for later in the night when it will do you the most good. Obviously, I don’t condone the use of alcohol to pull hoes, but think of it as a friendly fishing, these hoes are going to bite somebody’s line (figuratively, hopefully) why not toss your bait in the water and see if you can wiggle it enough to catch something.

Don’t be one of those niggas who gives up his drinks with no return on your investment, you don’t even have to be disrespectful or exploitational. It is very possible to be a stand-up guy and still lay a chick down. Basically, keep a reserve stash as long as you’d like, and when the hoes all make their rounds looking for shots and beers, choose your timing wisely. Let them deplete everybody else’s surplus and then when they finally come around to you, make your move my nigga.

What it comes down to, is that after 12 o’clock, the one with the remaining drinks usually make the rules. If a girl wants a beer or a shot of Ciroc, tell her that she has to chug it out of her best friend’s boobs. Throw something ridiculous out there and see how badly she really wants a drink.

Next, I’ve had a lot of people ask me how they are supposed to know which hoes are the most desperate for alcohol when the time comes. It is pretty simple, just keep your eyes open and observe the surroundings. The most desperate hoes usually come in 3 types.

1. The “Bottom of the Liquor Drinkers”- Their is usually at least one girl (more dudes do this however) who traces a route around the party keeping an eagle-eye out for somebody to put down their beer when they’re done with it, or goes on a hunt searching for unfinished beers and shots. By doing this she is able to find a handful of beers (warm, usually) that have not been finished, and sometimes have as little as just one sip left in them. This is the most desperate as she is already throwing fear of cooties out the window and is basically saying “fuck it, I’m not letting this sip go to waste”. You know what this also says? She doesn’t mind taking a little shot of liquid in her mouth from anybody at the party. Pass this girl off to the most desperate dude in your group.

2. The “Hey, Nice to Meet You, But Only After 12:00 Girl”- You’ve been at the party for a good 2 hours, and this hoe has been curving you 90mph like a MLB pitcher the whole night. However, once the alcohol starts running low, she becomes oh so friendly and has never been so eager to take part in your conversation and learn all about you. That interest only lasts a good 45 seconds though before she broaches a new topic. “Oh my god, somebody took my beer, this is terrible! Can I have yours?” What she failed to mention though, was that beer that somebody “took” was actually a random bottle she grabbed off the table right before she walked over to engage a conversation with you. Depending on your response, she will make this same round around the whole party. Usually, my response to this hoe would be a bit of challenge. If she remembers my name, sure, she can get a beer, but usually from my Keystone stash. If she doesn’t, adios bitch. (Disclaimer: Not every girl who wants to meet you after midnight is a mooching hoe, some are genuinely interested in you. To judge which of the two they are, judge how long they bother to stay around and how long it takes for them to ask for a drink. Less than a minute, and I think you have your answer.)3.

The “Girl Who Changes Into Something More Comfortable”- This is usually the most interesting and most enjoyable, if only for the fact that they usually lose a layer of clothing in order to command more attention and perhaps ease into their seduction just cause the clock strike 12AM. Very commonly, especially in the summer as the night goes on, will change outfits. This could mean they go to their car to take off their jeans and put on a skirt, go into the bathroom to take their panties or bra off, or just take their shirt off in front of anybody. By doing this, they get a step up on the other hoes. However, sometimes this can lead to comical occurrences, including a girl who says she is going to change real quickly and comes back wearing a swimsuit at a location without a pool. Perhaps she could be saying, secretly, that she is looking to get wet? Take note of this hoe and keep in mind that she was willing to strip down without provocation, who knows what could happen if there is alcoholic incentives involved…. Stay woke my niggas.

Basically, the point of this is to keep your eyes open if you’re attempting to get some legs open. Even if you aren’t, there is still quality entertainment to be had once the clock strikes 12AM and their is a free for all for all things free. However, at the same time, if you are the one with the last alcohol, be careful, niggas mooch just as hard as hoes and are much more annoying. Make sure to have your fun before the hoes get to desperate and decide to head to a bar in hopes of lame niggas buying them drinks there. However, realize that after 2AM, any remaining alcohol is worth even more! A sip for a nip if you’re lucky.

Also realize that the best wingman will alley oop his best friends drinks like Chris Paul at the point before he tosses anything to a hoe. Bros before hoes especially with brews, don’t forget that. Dumb hoes will be around forever, but good friends are hard to find. Who knows, you may need their surplus in your future endeavors. Oh well, until next time, keep your pimp hand strong, your personal bar stocked, and use hoes as entertainment whenever you can cause when the clock strikes 12:00, Cinderella loses her glass slipper, and all her clothes if she’s drunk enough.

Follow Me On Twitter: @Bdell1014

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