Archive for August, 2013

“Whoredrobes” by @Bdell1014

Posted: August 30, 2013 in Uncategorized

My niggas, the temperature outside is going down on all of us, and soon the hoes will too. School has started back up, and your surplus of summer hoes have left you, and you have to start a new. Don’t worry, the start of a semester is the perfect time to find a whore & I’m here to help you find one by the proxy fashion trends chicks follow nowadays. With this new knowledge, you’ll be able decipher on what makes a chick a hoe by her choice of garments.

                                                                                    Cross Leggings

cross leggingsAny chick that wears crucifixes on their leggings is a hoe. Crosses all over your leggings but your pussy is full of sin. Smh. Moses didn’t part the Red Sea for this shit.

                                                                                       Beanie Hats

Basic hoes ruined beanie hats. Chicks who wear these have the dark secrets my niggas. It is common knowledge that women are easier to come by as the weather gets colder so they throw on a damn beanie hat. October to November are statistically the easiest months to pull hoes, after all, isn’t stuffing the Thanksgiving turkey just a metaphor for sex? Of course so any chick with this embedded onto her scalp like Magneto’s helmet on X-Men is a hoe.

                                                                               Gladiator Sandals

Any chick you see wearing those infamous “Gladiator Sandals,” it is your right as a American citizen to chick this bitch into a pit like Leonidas did the Persians at thermopylae in 480 b.c on the movie “300”

                                                                                      UGG Boots

Most hoes wear these around Christmas time, but don’t be fooled. These boots essentially tells you that she’s naughty, NOT nice so get in the holiday spirit, you’ll come away with at least one whornament to hang on your tree and a chick who rocks these will give you a few suggestions for the hoe-liday season in the bedroom.

                                                                                 Basketball Shorts

The more basketball shorts she owns that isn’t her’s, the more niggas she fucked. She a hoe. Before I stop typing I’ma drop this gem and my niggas, wear it as a Jesus Piece. If you find a pair of basketball shorts that isn’t yours in your girl dresser, she better be able to hit a step-back jumper off the dribble cause if not, she cheating.

Follow Me On Twitter: @Bdell1014

One of the stereotypes of male/ female communication in a relationship is women is smarter than me. Its this notion that men are too stupid to get away with things because women are smarter. The whole Cats and Dogs comparison, you know Cats cover their shit while dogs leave it in the open. See the problem with this is, cats also needs other people to clean their shit up or begins to stink! (DAMN THAT WAS HOT! Lol ) See the secret to these things actually have absolutely nothing to do with intelligence what so ever. This is the perception because of the different ways each sex goes about doing things. The main thing that women is supposedly better at is cheating. I know you have heard how women don’t get caught and men are stupid and bla bla bla. Truth is, some males just haven’t peeped game and don’t understand the art to cheating and getting away with it. See some women outsmart niggas, but you don’t outsmart men! Most MEN will probably know the art to cheating, but for those who don’t Im here to break it down my niggas.

1.) First rule to successfully cheating, DON’T BE RECKLESS!: You see women never cheat in a reckless matter. Cheating recklessly is a sure way to get your ass caught. This is why women say “only way you gone catch me is if I want to get caught”. See reckless cheating includes dumb ass things like coming home at late times, claiming I stayed at my “friends” house, etc. That shit is unacceptable if you have plans of getting away with it. Cheating must be a thought out process, it’s a science to this shit. You don’t just wake up and rob a bank right? So you cant just wake up and rob the new pussy my niggas. Your girl is like the Police and they will search for any clue or information for your alibi and whereabouts on the night of the robbery of pussy. So you have to really think about your cheating plan.

2.) Don’t and I mean DO NOT accept every pussy that is thrown at you!: See when your in a relationship you always get pussy invitations. A VIP party aint got nothing on the pussy invites you will receive. You will be waking up to pussy text, pussy emails, pussy facebook messages, pussy Twitter DM’s, hell you might even walk outside and see a pussy citation on your car. Pussy falls from the sky the millisecond youre in a relationship. Now since your not accustomed to all this pussy its really tempting to get some but just like money, all pussy aint good pussy. Some pussy you gotta decline. Especially the pussy that looks better than your current pussy cause you gotta make sure your side chick is uglier than your girl so that you don’t end up leaving your main for the side chick. That’s a conflict of pussy interest right there and will eventually be a issue.

3.) All cheating should be done in truth!: Don’t lie to the side pussy. Tell that side pussy right away your in a relationship. See lying to the side pussy will put you in a situation to keep lying to your girl and that will eventually get you caught up. Like I said women like Detectives searching for incriminating evidence, so any change in the story and they will have your ass in the interrogation room like “you know you fucked up right?”… and yet you niggas still havent learned your girlfriend already knows the answers to at least 95% of the questions during interrogation. So when you cheat, actually create truthful stories. No dumb shit like “me and the guys going out of town”… NO! No stupid shit like “I’ma go see my kids but my Baby Mama out of town so I’ma stay over there.”… NO! You must cheat at opportune times. If you get off work early that day? Get the pussy BUT get home at your regular time. If you run to the grocery store? That gives you a enough time for a quick quicky before suspension…. or just dirty up more dishes for her to wash so you can have more time to be out cheating on her.

4.) Cheat with other people in relationships!: This is simple they don’t want to get caught either.

5.) CHEAT WITH PEOPLE WHO ACCEPTS THE SITUATION!: This is the MAIN reason women get away with it. See if you lying and deceiving the mistress, she will get attached and SHE is the one that will get you caught. She will text at some weird time or call or something stupid. You have to jump out and make sure she understands the situation.

6.) Jump out in front of any chance of getting caught!: If your side piece ever threaten to tell on you, delete all info and actually tell your girl about this weird bitch trying you get at you. You always jump out and plant! You must always know what to do next. Any “freestyle cheating” will get you caught. Everything must be planned. Women are very good detectives and they will get your ass, so make sure you jump out there before she fishes for info like Inspector Gadget.

7.) Most importantly, you can not have a conscious!: Don’t EVERRRRRR tell on yourself my niggas. Don’t ever pull the I might a mistake shit. That shit is not flying…unless she a dumb bitch! It wasn’t no mistake! You liked that new pussy, so if u ever start feeling bad about it, just don’t do it no more. Consciousness is the root to get caught. If you have a conscious then you shouldn’t have been cheating. And ladies, another woman cannot steal your man, he chooses to go. Maybe it was a lack in judgment, maybe he’s been unhappy for years, who cares what excuse he brings to the table, a grown ass man doesn’t just fall into pussy and cheat.

There you guys have it… now there is more, but since women be reading too, I cant TOTALLY give you all the secrets. Always remember though fellas, it’s a art to this cheating shit, but sometimes though its better to draw a picture of faithfulness and trust and miserableness rather than to cheat.

Follow Me On Twitter: @Bdell1014