“The Drake Phase Pt. 2: After Your Ex Left You, “Nothing Was The Same” by @Bdell1014

Posted: September 13, 2013 in Uncategorized

From September to November the climate is “Drake Weather.” Just cold nights without your ex and hungover mornings. Cuffing Season doesn’t start until Drake drops his new album.  If you don’t cuff your ex by the time Drake drops “Nothing Was The Same” on September 23rd, you may never gonna get your ex back. You’re just gonna be stuck in the deep dark abyss of the Drake Phase suffering from liquor withdrawals, mass depression, & memories of your ex. But I’m here to help you my niggas. If an ex is still in your heart, be honest about it. Acting as if they no longer exist won’t make the pain subside any sooner. You’ll be stuck in the Drake Phase for eternity.

CAUTION: The Drake Phase causes: Weight loss, alcoholism, hairline loss due to stress, watery eyes, & hallucinations of your ex.

Nothing is never the same after your ex leaves you. Those Drake lyrics you’re texting her are being ignored like Facebook Friend Request, and if she never texts you back you just gotta pack up all your emojis and go to bed. No point in clutching your phone tight at night hoping for a text from your ex cause Drake’s new album doesn’t comes with a waterproof case to protect your tears from crying over your ex. You’ll ruin your phone my nigga. But depending on the repercussions after you and your ex broke up, you may still have chance to find the key to get out of Heartbreak Hotel cause your ex either hates you or loves you, nothing in between.

(How To Get Out Of The “Drake Phase:”)

-Don’t follow her on Instagram because your ex will wait til yall break up to start wearing heels & dresses again. A nigga see his ex get 150+ “likes” on a pic & just lose composure & text her “Wyd tonight?”

-Never stalk her Twitter page to monitor her actions.

-No consumption of alcohol cause Drake’s “Marvins Room” instrumental will start playing in your head when you’re thinking about composing a drunk text to your ex late hours of the night.

-Take your new hoes to spots where you and your ex use to go. Your feelings for her will cancel out like a Mathematical equation.

-Don’t follow her on Vine. Watching your ex get over you in video imagery is like watching how Andy got rid of Woody for Buzz on Toy Story.

-Don’t listen to Drake after 12AM cause Drake’s music makes you wanna do some G shit but do something sentimental in the process like break into your ex crib & take out her garbage. Don’t do it my nigga.

Every real nigga has been through the Drake Phase. I’ve been there too. Going through the full and complete process of the Drake Phase has taught me valuable lessons that I benefit from now. None of my past relationships were mistakes, just valuable lessons. I swear some niggas, particularly the ones who are STILL disgruntled over an ex from years ago, just sit around and dwell in everyone’s presence in stealth mode with negativity. They are pathetic and miserable… you don’t wanna be classified as that guy. External motivation is temporary. If it ain’t already in you to get over your ex, you’re wasting your time reading this blog. I’m not telling you to completely hate your ex but you gotta co-exist. Just because you and your ex didn’t work out doesn’t mean you have to act tyrannical towards her cause 9 times out of 10 it was just mutual incompatibility, not malicious.

In conclusion, use this as a top secret tactic to get over your long lost love & to help others who are sinking in the Drake Phase like the quick sand on Super Mario. When someone tells you they are over an ex, that’s a sure sign they are not. You never really get over people, you just get away from them.

Follow Me On Twitter: @Bdell1014

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  1. […] “The Drake Phase Pt. 2: After Your Ex Left You, “Nothing Was The Same” by @Bdell10…. […]

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