Archive for December, 2014

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What is a hoe? The term “hoe” is used so loosely these days. Hoe this… hoe that… I’m guilty of it as well… I’ve even called a girl a hoe simply because she ate a bag of Hot Cheetos in my presence…. Any type of fuckery these days can be considered hoe-tivity. Hoes really catch a bad rep over nothing. Hoes don’t hurt anybody, cheaters and stone cold stunners do . We must go against conventional thinking and become the change we want to see in the world. Ghandi said that…. To demonize a woman just for her sexual promiscuity just is not fair. What if a hoe has 2000 hours of community service? What if you pass out and the ONLY person who knew CPR was a hoe? What if it was raining and a hoe offered you a ride home? Just because a woman has a body count far into the double digits does not make her a hoe. Are hoes bad? The answer to that is no! Hoes are wonderful! Where would our society be today if it wasn’t for hoes? From the Tip drill video to the Kim Kardashian’s to the Monica Lewinsky’s across the land… Hoes are amazing. Even J.Cole admitted that a slutty bitch was his first smash…. What most women don’t understand is that hoes play a crucial role in the relationship process. There is no place for a hoe in a relationship, however, prior to a relationship she is perfect for putting you and your man together. How so you may ask? Oh don’t worry baby birds… I will feed you. Just go ahead and grab those pens and notepads and prepare to take notes as I provide an insightful analysis of heaux-manship. Ladies, when you say “Hoes make men think that all of us are hoes.” You really don’t understand how wrong you are. Each woman is a new mystery to a man. When a man first meet a woman he files her in his brain as two things right off the back. Fuckable or Not Fuckable. then from there he places you into another category which is Hoe or Not Hoe… then from there he determines his approach to how and if he wants to eventually sleep with you. *sidenote* (Even if a man wants to gal you up, eventually some fucking will go down so get out that childish ass high school mindset.) Hoes do not make men think all women are hoes, your actions, half naked Instagram post and daddy issues make us think you are a hoe. Don’t twerk on stage and expect us not to file you in that hoe category. If it weren’t for hoes you would stand in the crowd and be just another toss in the crowd or boring ass girl. Hoes are cool for a little while, they might even have cool convesational skills. However all hoes are plauged with hoe-tendencies they cannot hide. Eventually those habits come to light, no matter how hard hoes try to supress them, and a man will pick up on it. Once he finds a woman without hoe tendencies, he might make it facebook official. Who knows!? But this comparison is needed for men. 

Men also need to feel validated. Hoes are a great way to accomplish that. If a man has one or two “good loyal down to smash whenever” hoes, he feels as though he can get other women. He is confident, and girls love confidence. Hoes give a man a safety net. Having hoes means that if this new girl doesn’t work out, I still have a cushion to protect me from becoming fully hoe-less. When a man is hoe-less he feels as though he has no options. When a man has no options and tries to talk to a new girl, he becomes hell-bent on making sure that option works out in his favor. He has all of his eggs in one basket…. all his money on one horse… Whatever analogy you want to use is fine. But a dude basically becomes desperate.

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Just look at Chris Brown’s instagram post… you can tell he’s losing his faith in hoes. Now that he’s single, all he has is a bottle of lotion, a dream and an absent father who wasn’t there to teach him a lesson in self respect.

Ladies when you think a dude is being thirsty, you’re wrong. He is just desperate. Desperate dudes have nothing to lose so they do the absolute most. There is nothing more annoying to a woman than a desperate dude. Most guys know this, so to stop those traits from ever showing, we get our hoes. Hoes are like cash in a mattress. You don’t tell anybody about them, but they come in handy…. With all of that being said, ladies, do not hate hoes. Embrace them for playing their role. Much like high school drop outs, somebody has to work at Wendy’s…. and somebody has to respond to my text at 2:13am. I tip my hat to the hoes out there, thank you for your superb work. Ladies, if you think a hoe ruined your relationship, maybe you need to do some soul searching and self reflecting and ask yourself…. “Did I suck my boyfriends dick enough?” or “Maybe never cooking for him wasn’t such a good idea?”… Hoes cannot ruin relationships. As a girlfriend, you must be willing and ready to be better than any hoe that could ever come into the picture. Can’t cook? Watch Rachel Ray…. Can’t fuck? Watch a porno… Complain to much? Get a pen pal. But blaming a hoe for your failed relationship or your lack of ability to keep a man interested is lazy and immature.

In conclusion… remember, Hoes are the reason most niggas buy nice cars, wear nice clothes, & etc. It helps the economy. Without hoes the Stock Market would crash.

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