Archive for the ‘Twitter: Humor’ Category

Disclaimer: I am simply stating an opinion through observations and I DO intend on offending some you that pertain to this. If I do, feel free to comment.

Hello. In this installment, I will be instructing you on the signs of who to avoid on Twitter.Well all know that Twitter is SUPPOSE to be Social media messaging service for staying in touch and keeping up with friends from anywhere. Usable through a growing number of platforms but shit has got out of hand. Twitter has turned into a place where “Fake Intelligent” people with delusions of grandeur can write about anything mundane and trivial in their lives, while believing that the whole world wants to know. We see them every damn day on our Time Line giving life advice & spread inspirational quotes to us all that they got off Google. We don’t want to hear that shit. They think they’re knowledgeable when they’re not. Shut up, you’re “Fake Intelligent.” With that being said, here are 5 indicators of people you shouldn’t Follow on Twitter.

1.The Chick that ALWAYS refers to her undying love as “#OOMF.” This is what I call Side Chick activity. A woman that is one level above a Hoe but always a step below the Wife and the Girlfriend. A Chick must know her part. She does not get holidays, birthdays (other than her own). While he may meet your family. You will never meet his. A Side Chick is a woman who will have sex on Feb. 1-13 and spend Valentine’s Day alone. However, avoid females with Side Chick Tweets. Why? Because they’re craving attention for all the wrong reasons.

2. Avoid Hoodrats on Twitter with ALL cause. Unfollow them. These are females who don’t dress appropriately in their Twitter Picture. More than half their wardrobe consists of tight and often revealing clothing. They’re usually holding a job at fast food places or retail stores and many have no real education and are likely to be high school dropouts. They also have children with different fathers who have criminal records or some kind of sketchy past. They also live at home with their parent(s) or someone and don’t have themselves established with their own anything. They are not very intelligent and their vocabulary sounds like they failed remedial English and it shows through their Tweets. When they Tweet they often make fun of those who are successful and established because they are jealous and envy those who actually work for things. They have a high tendency to be lazy and unmotivated. Hoodrats tend to have a greedy and self centered mentality and it’s mostly fueled by their love of money and Tweet corny phrases like “Money Makes Me Cum.” They often like to Unfollow people who put a spotlight on their fuck-ups through Tweets. Avoid Hoodrats on Twitter, they’ll trouble your spirit.

3. Ladies, avoid thirsty dudes on Twitter. If your undergarments are hanging off you in your Twitter picture you are attracting thirsty dudes who pick up the Phone faster than everyone in a sales office. A thirsty dude “@s” every cute girl he sees but none of them respond. Most importantly he always refers to other dudes on Twitter as “Thirsty ass niggas.” A Thirsty dude on Twitter is equivalent to a Sex offender. Any dude who obtains sexual contact via Twitter less-than-honest means or a person that enjoys “Hunting Down” their prey. Don’t trust him. His ulterior motives could be malicious.

4. People who Text you about your Tweets are “Twitter Stalkers.” Avoid them. Twitter Stalkers will go to someone’s Twitter account and scrolling through every Tweet, looking at every picture, and reading every private conversation they’ve had. Avoid ALL Tweeter’s who are obsessed with you to the point of insanity. Anyone who has an intense interest in another person on Twitter is not to be trusted. Twitter Stalkers have the ability encompass a wide variety of people, ranging from the innocent and idealistic when they’re online but crazy in real life. Unfollow they ass now, not later.

5. Avoid fake and aspiring models on Twitter. In many cases this person will have “Modeling” pictures in which they don’t really model anything but try to look good. Infrequent Twitter picture changes is another symptom. Although a majority of these fake models manipulate angles to where they don’t look fat or ugly. This is why I call them “Decepticons.” Another symptom is that they NEVER change their Twitter Picture and that only means that they are dirty and deceitful. These Hoes generally have low self-esteem. They like to turn their Bathroom into a Make-Shift Studio while taking “Ass On The Sink” pictures like they’re Modeling for Colgate Toothpaste.

Follow Me On Twitter @Bdell1014