Black Twitter caused an uproar about $200 dates the other day so I’m here to break down dating rules based off a chick’s substance and ratings. Every now and then, you may have the crazy idea in your head that you should take a hoe out for dinner. Whether it be because you’re hungry, or you are trying to flatter her, there are some basic ground rules that you need to keep in mind my niggas.

NEVER spend too much money on her. There should be a correlation of some sort between her rating on a 1-10 scale, and how many dollars you spend on a bitch meal. While it is safe to say that you shouldn’t be taking a chick that’s a ‘3’ rating out to dinner, that doesn’t mean you can’t take a girl out for a cheap dining experience.

Even I have taken a girl out and gotten her to fuck me after dinner. Avoid places that are too cheap though, as they could lead to indigestion before insertion, and that is never good. Especially avoid Golden Corral, unless you’re taking out her cockblocking fat friend with you and you’re trying to lose her along the way. That long line of sub par food may very well be more exciting to her than your dick. I’ll give a few acceptable food choices depending on the rating of the girl you’re taking on a date.

A Chick That’s A 1-3 Rating- The corner store usually has day old hot dogs, maybe some soggy nachos, or even a candy bar should all suffice in this situation. Though, while you’re there, you should probably do yourself a favor and buy a 40 ounce for yourself my nigga. (I hope for your sake that you’re not really going out with a girl rated this low, but if you are, I suppose you have to take her somewhere, right?)

A Chick That’s A 4-5 Rating- Not quite condonable, somewhere cheap with poorly lit rooms would work best. You should consider a low-class Chinese buffet perhaps. (Hopefully, this will be the only pussy that you’re eating tonight, LMAOOO) Though buffets leave you susceptible to spending too much time together, so, if possible, you should try to find a quicker meal. Studies have shown that KFC is a suitable location, as the Colonel is rarely known to cockblock. Also, neighborhood Mexican restaurants are acceptable, especially if you can get away with only giving her chips and salsa as a meal.

A Chick That’s A 6-7 Rating- Now you’re getting into the more promising territory, so do not be afraid to open your wallet a little more in order to open her legs. This is a good range to take a hoe for wings if you’re a fan. Not only will you be able to focus your attention on the multiple TVs showing sports in case the dinner isn’t going well, but you’ll also be able to scope her tongue technique as she licks any excess sauce off of her fingers.

A Chick That’s A 8-9 Rating- This is where you don’t want to make a mistake. If you’ve come this far, and are taking out a highly-rated girl, you don’t want to seem cheap, but at the same time, you don’t want to splurge before you splooge. With a girl this attractive, you won’t be afraid to be seen with her, so a popular, albeit boring location, is acceptable. Chili’s, Olive Garden (Get her full on unlimited salad and breadsticks) and Applebees are all possibilities, and also give you a decent chance of having a waitress better looking than your hoe if you so please. This way, it seems casual, you don’t look poor, and you can have decent food. I don’t recommend taking a hoe to your favorite restaurant, for fear of running into her in the future after you are done with her, it could get messy, and you could have to give up your favorite spot.

A Chick That’s A 10 Rating- A chick rated this high can only be taken on $200 dates BUT only if your main objective is to wife her. This is the only time that I will condone taking a girl out for a nice meal. If the girl is a certified dime, you can, if you’re in the mood for it, take her out for sushi. The reason I reserved sushi for a dime was to ensure that your sushi will be the only thing smelling fishy, and not your date’s pussy. While you should be careful not to overspend, most girls realize that a sushi date is special, and will try not to order too much. On occasion they will be satisfied/full with just a few pieces off of your plate. A good sushi dinner for two can be had for under $30-40, and you’ll be full, the girl will be honored, and your chances of smashing will increase tenfold. Be careful though, keep the sushi dinner in your back pocket only for girls who are worthy, you don’t want to show your best card in an unnecessary situation.

Remember though, some hoes may be so happy that they have been taken out for dinner that they will offer to pay in some cases. To keep this possibility open without asking openly, when the check comes, excuse yourself to the bathroom for a second, and if you come back and the bill is paid, act surprised by her sweetness and have yourself a win/win situation. Free sushi and free sex? I don’t think it gets much better than that my nigga.

Follow Me On Twitter @Bdell1014

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From September to November the climate is “Drake Weather.” Just cold nights without your ex and hungover mornings. Cuffing Season doesn’t start until Drake drops his new album.  If you don’t cuff your ex by the time Drake drops “Nothing Was The Same” on September 23rd, you may never gonna get your ex back. You’re just gonna be stuck in the deep dark abyss of the Drake Phase suffering from liquor withdrawals, mass depression, & memories of your ex. But I’m here to help you my niggas. If an ex is still in your heart, be honest about it. Acting as if they no longer exist won’t make the pain subside any sooner. You’ll be stuck in the Drake Phase for eternity.

CAUTION: The Drake Phase causes: Weight loss, alcoholism, hairline loss due to stress, watery eyes, & hallucinations of your ex.

Nothing is never the same after your ex leaves you. Those Drake lyrics you’re texting her are being ignored like Facebook Friend Request, and if she never texts you back you just gotta pack up all your emojis and go to bed. No point in clutching your phone tight at night hoping for a text from your ex cause Drake’s new album doesn’t comes with a waterproof case to protect your tears from crying over your ex. You’ll ruin your phone my nigga. But depending on the repercussions after you and your ex broke up, you may still have chance to find the key to get out of Heartbreak Hotel cause your ex either hates you or loves you, nothing in between.

(How To Get Out Of The “Drake Phase:”)

-Don’t follow her on Instagram because your ex will wait til yall break up to start wearing heels & dresses again. A nigga see his ex get 150+ “likes” on a pic & just lose composure & text her “Wyd tonight?”

-Never stalk her Twitter page to monitor her actions.

-No consumption of alcohol cause Drake’s “Marvins Room” instrumental will start playing in your head when you’re thinking about composing a drunk text to your ex late hours of the night.

-Take your new hoes to spots where you and your ex use to go. Your feelings for her will cancel out like a Mathematical equation.

-Don’t follow her on Vine. Watching your ex get over you in video imagery is like watching how Andy got rid of Woody for Buzz on Toy Story.

-Don’t listen to Drake after 12AM cause Drake’s music makes you wanna do some G shit but do something sentimental in the process like break into your ex crib & take out her garbage. Don’t do it my nigga.

Every real nigga has been through the Drake Phase. I’ve been there too. Going through the full and complete process of the Drake Phase has taught me valuable lessons that I benefit from now. None of my past relationships were mistakes, just valuable lessons. I swear some niggas, particularly the ones who are STILL disgruntled over an ex from years ago, just sit around and dwell in everyone’s presence in stealth mode with negativity. They are pathetic and miserable… you don’t wanna be classified as that guy. External motivation is temporary. If it ain’t already in you to get over your ex, you’re wasting your time reading this blog. I’m not telling you to completely hate your ex but you gotta co-exist. Just because you and your ex didn’t work out doesn’t mean you have to act tyrannical towards her cause 9 times out of 10 it was just mutual incompatibility, not malicious.

In conclusion, use this as a top secret tactic to get over your long lost love & to help others who are sinking in the Drake Phase like the quick sand on Super Mario. When someone tells you they are over an ex, that’s a sure sign they are not. You never really get over people, you just get away from them.

Follow Me On Twitter: @Bdell1014

Lil Wayne’s 5th installment “Dedication 5” mixtape dropped today & niggas downloaded it faster than Weezy’s seizure recovery speeds. After dropping this mixtape, we must bring down the regime of Lil Wayne’s career. He hasn’t been the same since him & Birdman locked lips like love at 1st sight… but my niggas, I sat through all 25 tracks of one of the most overrated mixtapes in the history of Hip Hopdom & I cried so much in devastation that I have a permanent tear drop under my left eye like Lil Wayne.

I gave Dedication 5 an honest listen & I decoded each track thoroughly. I only like 3 out of 25 tracks on Dedication 5. Lil Wayne is shooting 12% from the field when it comes to making good music now and Drake is YMCMB’s only hope to lead the to the Championship. Lil Wayne’s career is deterioating & his fans are too naive to grasp that logic.

Lil Wayne gives his audience this perception that he’s “Not Human” when he has too many seizures to not be human. For those who are Lil Wayne fans, from your point of view, his music may have grown musically, and that’s debatable, but I’m not sure how much he has grown as a Black man & it’s affecting his ability to create quality songs. One thing I use to admire about Lil Wayne was his honest self-analysis but now I don’t think he knows who he is & it shows in his music.

I’d consider Lil Wayne artistically courageous for some of the bullshit music he puts out now, but that still doesn’t make him a genius or the best rapper alive. Niggas use those terms too liberally and ahistorically, Weezy is just a typical rapper that gets radio play because he uses keywords that are heavily promoted in this era whether, it’s fashion (Truck Fit), Drugs ( Molly), & etc.

For all of Lil Wayne’s flaws in music, you still get the idea that music comes before money. Lil Wayne wants to be famous, not great & it appears.

Follow Me On Twitter: @Bdell1014

“Whoredrobes” by @Bdell1014

Posted: August 30, 2013 in Uncategorized

My niggas, the temperature outside is going down on all of us, and soon the hoes will too. School has started back up, and your surplus of summer hoes have left you, and you have to start a new. Don’t worry, the start of a semester is the perfect time to find a whore & I’m here to help you find one by the proxy fashion trends chicks follow nowadays. With this new knowledge, you’ll be able decipher on what makes a chick a hoe by her choice of garments.

                                                                                    Cross Leggings

cross leggingsAny chick that wears crucifixes on their leggings is a hoe. Crosses all over your leggings but your pussy is full of sin. Smh. Moses didn’t part the Red Sea for this shit.

                                                                                       Beanie Hats

Basic hoes ruined beanie hats. Chicks who wear these have the dark secrets my niggas. It is common knowledge that women are easier to come by as the weather gets colder so they throw on a damn beanie hat. October to November are statistically the easiest months to pull hoes, after all, isn’t stuffing the Thanksgiving turkey just a metaphor for sex? Of course so any chick with this embedded onto her scalp like Magneto’s helmet on X-Men is a hoe.

                                                                               Gladiator Sandals

Any chick you see wearing those infamous “Gladiator Sandals,” it is your right as a American citizen to chick this bitch into a pit like Leonidas did the Persians at thermopylae in 480 b.c on the movie “300”

                                                                                      UGG Boots

Most hoes wear these around Christmas time, but don’t be fooled. These boots essentially tells you that she’s naughty, NOT nice so get in the holiday spirit, you’ll come away with at least one whornament to hang on your tree and a chick who rocks these will give you a few suggestions for the hoe-liday season in the bedroom.

                                                                                 Basketball Shorts

The more basketball shorts she owns that isn’t her’s, the more niggas she fucked. She a hoe. Before I stop typing I’ma drop this gem and my niggas, wear it as a Jesus Piece. If you find a pair of basketball shorts that isn’t yours in your girl dresser, she better be able to hit a step-back jumper off the dribble cause if not, she cheating.

Follow Me On Twitter: @Bdell1014

One of the stereotypes of male/ female communication in a relationship is women is smarter than me. Its this notion that men are too stupid to get away with things because women are smarter. The whole Cats and Dogs comparison, you know Cats cover their shit while dogs leave it in the open. See the problem with this is, cats also needs other people to clean their shit up or begins to stink! (DAMN THAT WAS HOT! Lol ) See the secret to these things actually have absolutely nothing to do with intelligence what so ever. This is the perception because of the different ways each sex goes about doing things. The main thing that women is supposedly better at is cheating. I know you have heard how women don’t get caught and men are stupid and bla bla bla. Truth is, some males just haven’t peeped game and don’t understand the art to cheating and getting away with it. See some women outsmart niggas, but you don’t outsmart men! Most MEN will probably know the art to cheating, but for those who don’t Im here to break it down my niggas.

1.) First rule to successfully cheating, DON’T BE RECKLESS!: You see women never cheat in a reckless matter. Cheating recklessly is a sure way to get your ass caught. This is why women say “only way you gone catch me is if I want to get caught”. See reckless cheating includes dumb ass things like coming home at late times, claiming I stayed at my “friends” house, etc. That shit is unacceptable if you have plans of getting away with it. Cheating must be a thought out process, it’s a science to this shit. You don’t just wake up and rob a bank right? So you cant just wake up and rob the new pussy my niggas. Your girl is like the Police and they will search for any clue or information for your alibi and whereabouts on the night of the robbery of pussy. So you have to really think about your cheating plan.

2.) Don’t and I mean DO NOT accept every pussy that is thrown at you!: See when your in a relationship you always get pussy invitations. A VIP party aint got nothing on the pussy invites you will receive. You will be waking up to pussy text, pussy emails, pussy facebook messages, pussy Twitter DM’s, hell you might even walk outside and see a pussy citation on your car. Pussy falls from the sky the millisecond youre in a relationship. Now since your not accustomed to all this pussy its really tempting to get some but just like money, all pussy aint good pussy. Some pussy you gotta decline. Especially the pussy that looks better than your current pussy cause you gotta make sure your side chick is uglier than your girl so that you don’t end up leaving your main for the side chick. That’s a conflict of pussy interest right there and will eventually be a issue.

3.) All cheating should be done in truth!: Don’t lie to the side pussy. Tell that side pussy right away your in a relationship. See lying to the side pussy will put you in a situation to keep lying to your girl and that will eventually get you caught up. Like I said women like Detectives searching for incriminating evidence, so any change in the story and they will have your ass in the interrogation room like “you know you fucked up right?”… and yet you niggas still havent learned your girlfriend already knows the answers to at least 95% of the questions during interrogation. So when you cheat, actually create truthful stories. No dumb shit like “me and the guys going out of town”… NO! No stupid shit like “I’ma go see my kids but my Baby Mama out of town so I’ma stay over there.”… NO! You must cheat at opportune times. If you get off work early that day? Get the pussy BUT get home at your regular time. If you run to the grocery store? That gives you a enough time for a quick quicky before suspension…. or just dirty up more dishes for her to wash so you can have more time to be out cheating on her.

4.) Cheat with other people in relationships!: This is simple they don’t want to get caught either.

5.) CHEAT WITH PEOPLE WHO ACCEPTS THE SITUATION!: This is the MAIN reason women get away with it. See if you lying and deceiving the mistress, she will get attached and SHE is the one that will get you caught. She will text at some weird time or call or something stupid. You have to jump out and make sure she understands the situation.

6.) Jump out in front of any chance of getting caught!: If your side piece ever threaten to tell on you, delete all info and actually tell your girl about this weird bitch trying you get at you. You always jump out and plant! You must always know what to do next. Any “freestyle cheating” will get you caught. Everything must be planned. Women are very good detectives and they will get your ass, so make sure you jump out there before she fishes for info like Inspector Gadget.

7.) Most importantly, you can not have a conscious!: Don’t EVERRRRRR tell on yourself my niggas. Don’t ever pull the I might a mistake shit. That shit is not flying…unless she a dumb bitch! It wasn’t no mistake! You liked that new pussy, so if u ever start feeling bad about it, just don’t do it no more. Consciousness is the root to get caught. If you have a conscious then you shouldn’t have been cheating. And ladies, another woman cannot steal your man, he chooses to go. Maybe it was a lack in judgment, maybe he’s been unhappy for years, who cares what excuse he brings to the table, a grown ass man doesn’t just fall into pussy and cheat.

There you guys have it… now there is more, but since women be reading too, I cant TOTALLY give you all the secrets. Always remember though fellas, it’s a art to this cheating shit, but sometimes though its better to draw a picture of faithfulness and trust and miserableness rather than to cheat.

Follow Me On Twitter: @Bdell1014

The closer you follow and abide these top 5 rules, the easier you will find and keep real, true unconditional love and happiness in your life. Cuffing Season will be here right before you know it, so soak up these gems and apply it to your love life my niggas.

Rule 1: Make her jealous

You gotta flirt with other chicks in front of your girl just to let her know bad bitches still want you. Do not dissuade other women from flirting with you. Women will never admit this but jealousy excites them. The thought of you turning on another woman will arouse her sexually. No chick wants a man that no other woman wants. The partner who harnesses the gale storm of jealousy controls the direction of the relationship.

Rule 2: Never say “I Love You” first

Women want to feel like they have to overcome obstacles to win a nigga’s heart. They crave the challenge of capturing the interest of a man who has other women competing for his attention, and eventually prevailing over his grudging reluctance to award his committed exclusivity. A nigga who gives his emotional world away too easily robs women of the satisfaction of earning his love. Though you may be in love with her, don’t say it before she has said it or you’ll end up in the Hospital like Martin Lawrence on “Thin Line Between Love & Hate.” Show compassionate restraint for her need to struggle toward yin fulfillment. Inspire her to take the leap for you, and she’ll return the favor a thousand fold.

Rule 3: Fuck her good

Fuck her like it’s your last fuck. And hers. Fuck her so good, so hard, so wantonly, so profligately that she is left a quivering and falling down like a baby deer when she gets up to go to the bathroom, sparking mass of shaking flesh and sex fluids. Drain her of everything my nigga, then drain her some more. Kiss her all over, make love to her all night, and hold her close in the morning. Own her body, own her gratitude, own her love. If you don’t know how, learn to give her squirting orgasms…. Also, if yall ever get in an argument one day, remember that make-up sex is worth the argument and if you can’t sex your way out of an argument, you’re not good at it.

Rule 4: Never be afraid to lose her

You must not fear my niggas. Fear is the love-killer. Fear is the ego-triumph that brings abject “Drake loneliness” that will have you in Marvin’s Room just crying your eyes out. You will face your fear. You will permit it to pass over and through you. And when your ego-fear is gone you will turn and face your lover, and only your heart will remain. You will walk away from her when she has violated your integrity, and you will let her walk when her heart is closed to you. She who can destroy you, controls you. Don’t give her that power over yourself or she’ll own your soul. Love yourself before you love her.

Rule 5: Say you’re sorry only when absolutely necessary

Do not say you’re sorry for every wrong thing you do. Apologizing increases the demand for more apologies. She will come to expect your contrition, like a cat expects a bowl of milk at a set time each day. And then your value will lower in her eyes. Instead, if you have done something wrong, you should acknowledge your guilt in a glancing way without resorting to the actual words “I’m sorry.” Pull the Bill Clinton maneuver and say “Mistakes were made” or tell her you “feel bad” about what you did. You are granted ONLY 2 freebie “I’m sorry”s for the life of your relationship, use them wisely my niggas.

Follow Me On Twitter @Bdell1014

Trayvon_Martin_cartoon_1200pixelsI wasn’t going to blog about this topic because it’s a touchy subject but I am now so fuck it. Every since Zimmerman was found not guilty, I haven’t seen one tweet about the supportance of Trayvon. Ya’ll was just fake mad for retweets… and for those who are still caught up in the frenzy of the Zimmerman trial, still angry as hell over how he was able to get off: you’re missing the point. This case was never about a stupid little man who killed an unarmed teenager. There were much bigger issues at play.

Side Note: Do some research before you come on Twitter throwing opinions around.

Political careers and billions of corporate dollars were at stake. Like the bigger issue of nationwide gun control. And the issue of the criminalization of black males, which leads to the issue of tougher laws only aimed at black people; and ultimately to mass incarceration of black folks. The jig is up damnit… this is what Kanye was basically talking about in his hit single “New Slaves” that dropped. “See they’ll confuse us with some bullshit like the New World Order, Meanwhile the DEA, Teamed up with the CCA, They tryna lock niggas up, They tryna make new slaves, See that’s that private owned prison Get your piece today.”- Kanye

Which leads into the bigger issue of the prison industry, which is a billion dollar business in America. Did you know that prisons are now openly traded on the NY Stock Exchange? Look up Corrections Corp of America. And they’re just one out of many such companies that manage state, federal and local prisons for profit. It’s no accident that black folks make up 13% of the US population and over 70% of the prison population. That’s by design!

Now put on your thinking glasses for a minute my niggas: the only way a company can insure its investors of a return on their investment, it has to have a system in place to guarantee its revenues. So how can prisons guarantee to keep themselves full of prisoners in order to make a profit for its investors, unless they have a system already in place that will ensure their prisons stay full? Hmmmmm. Think about that…

This is where you get your mandatory sentencing from, the get tough on crime political rhetoric; the sudden decline of black schools (especially in Chicago) and the sudden increase of prisons being built. This is where you also get the daily parading of black faces as criminals nightly on the evening news, when statistically blacks do drugs and kill blacks at the same rate that whites do drugs and kill other whites. But you only see the stories about the black criminals, leaving you with the false impression that black males are inherently prone to more violence and crime than others. Which leads right back to Trayvon and Zimmerman.

This wasn’t about Zimmerman who killed an unarmed black kid. It was about protecting the investments of people who make a lot of money from keeping black men in the criminal system. It was about ensuring that system remains in place without interruption. Because it generates a ton of money for a lot of people.

That’s why now you see folks like Rush Limbaugh and other conservatives vilifying Trayvon as some sort of thug. When anyone who knows anything about a thug can clearly see this kid was NOT it.

Black folks are still playing checkers, when the real game has always been CHESS. We’ve just been checked… Stay woke my niggas.

Follow Me On Twitter: @Bdell1014

hoederella

I know I have touched on the tactics of hoes this in previous posts, but I believe that it is now important enough to warrant it’s own write-up. Basically, whenever you’re at a party, you’re having a good time, and then all of a sudden, 12:00AM rolls around, and the realization that you can’t buy liquor anymore hits you (Unless it’s Saturday night, in which case, shit, we’re good!). All of a sudden, all those girls who seemed so wonderful and classy just a few minutes ago have completely transformed into “Sinderella.”

“Sinderella”= A bitch who once was innocent until the clock striked 12AM and she loses her glass slipper, her clothes, and all her dignity for a little liquor.

At 11:42 you can hear the girls talking amongst each other “OMG, I have so much dignity”, but when 12:00AM rolls around and they are on a mission to procure any remaining drinks, it is more like “fuck dignity, I just want a drink you see, and some dick in me!” Buttons start getting undone, cleavage evolves from just being able to make out the breast, and they begin to be more promiscuous. In order to capitalize on this as much as possible, you must think ahead enough to reserve a stash of alcohol for later in the night when it will do you the most good. Obviously, I don’t condone the use of alcohol to pull hoes, but think of it as a friendly fishing, these hoes are going to bite somebody’s line (figuratively, hopefully) why not toss your bait in the water and see if you can wiggle it enough to catch something.

Don’t be one of those niggas who gives up his drinks with no return on your investment, you don’t even have to be disrespectful or exploitational. It is very possible to be a stand-up guy and still lay a chick down. Basically, keep a reserve stash as long as you’d like, and when the hoes all make their rounds looking for shots and beers, choose your timing wisely. Let them deplete everybody else’s surplus and then when they finally come around to you, make your move my nigga.

What it comes down to, is that after 12 o’clock, the one with the remaining drinks usually make the rules. If a girl wants a beer or a shot of Ciroc, tell her that she has to chug it out of her best friend’s boobs. Throw something ridiculous out there and see how badly she really wants a drink.

Next, I’ve had a lot of people ask me how they are supposed to know which hoes are the most desperate for alcohol when the time comes. It is pretty simple, just keep your eyes open and observe the surroundings. The most desperate hoes usually come in 3 types.

1. The “Bottom of the Liquor Drinkers”- Their is usually at least one girl (more dudes do this however) who traces a route around the party keeping an eagle-eye out for somebody to put down their beer when they’re done with it, or goes on a hunt searching for unfinished beers and shots. By doing this she is able to find a handful of beers (warm, usually) that have not been finished, and sometimes have as little as just one sip left in them. This is the most desperate as she is already throwing fear of cooties out the window and is basically saying “fuck it, I’m not letting this sip go to waste”. You know what this also says? She doesn’t mind taking a little shot of liquid in her mouth from anybody at the party. Pass this girl off to the most desperate dude in your group.

2. The “Hey, Nice to Meet You, But Only After 12:00 Girl”- You’ve been at the party for a good 2 hours, and this hoe has been curving you 90mph like a MLB pitcher the whole night. However, once the alcohol starts running low, she becomes oh so friendly and has never been so eager to take part in your conversation and learn all about you. That interest only lasts a good 45 seconds though before she broaches a new topic. “Oh my god, somebody took my beer, this is terrible! Can I have yours?” What she failed to mention though, was that beer that somebody “took” was actually a random bottle she grabbed off the table right before she walked over to engage a conversation with you. Depending on your response, she will make this same round around the whole party. Usually, my response to this hoe would be a bit of challenge. If she remembers my name, sure, she can get a beer, but usually from my Keystone stash. If she doesn’t, adios bitch. (Disclaimer: Not every girl who wants to meet you after midnight is a mooching hoe, some are genuinely interested in you. To judge which of the two they are, judge how long they bother to stay around and how long it takes for them to ask for a drink. Less than a minute, and I think you have your answer.)3.

The “Girl Who Changes Into Something More Comfortable”- This is usually the most interesting and most enjoyable, if only for the fact that they usually lose a layer of clothing in order to command more attention and perhaps ease into their seduction just cause the clock strike 12AM. Very commonly, especially in the summer as the night goes on, will change outfits. This could mean they go to their car to take off their jeans and put on a skirt, go into the bathroom to take their panties or bra off, or just take their shirt off in front of anybody. By doing this, they get a step up on the other hoes. However, sometimes this can lead to comical occurrences, including a girl who says she is going to change real quickly and comes back wearing a swimsuit at a location without a pool. Perhaps she could be saying, secretly, that she is looking to get wet? Take note of this hoe and keep in mind that she was willing to strip down without provocation, who knows what could happen if there is alcoholic incentives involved…. Stay woke my niggas.

Basically, the point of this is to keep your eyes open if you’re attempting to get some legs open. Even if you aren’t, there is still quality entertainment to be had once the clock strikes 12AM and their is a free for all for all things free. However, at the same time, if you are the one with the last alcohol, be careful, niggas mooch just as hard as hoes and are much more annoying. Make sure to have your fun before the hoes get to desperate and decide to head to a bar in hopes of lame niggas buying them drinks there. However, realize that after 2AM, any remaining alcohol is worth even more! A sip for a nip if you’re lucky.

Also realize that the best wingman will alley oop his best friends drinks like Chris Paul at the point before he tosses anything to a hoe. Bros before hoes especially with brews, don’t forget that. Dumb hoes will be around forever, but good friends are hard to find. Who knows, you may need their surplus in your future endeavors. Oh well, until next time, keep your pimp hand strong, your personal bar stocked, and use hoes as entertainment whenever you can cause when the clock strikes 12:00, Cinderella loses her glass slipper, and all her clothes if she’s drunk enough.

Follow Me On Twitter: @Bdell1014

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My niggas, has the Pussy Stock Market Crashed?

We currently live in a world where we have a financial crisis. There is a lot of talk about maybe having a change in currency, how to move forward in society financially for the betterment of the people and also what got us to the point of financial hard times. What are the things we need to do to prevent these types of problems from happening again? Well as that remains to be seen, there is different things outside of the financial structure being affected and changed as well. America is a Super Power because of its ability ( at its highest points) to trade goods and produce financial gain for itself and surrounding countries. I know your asking yourself, where is Brydell going with this?? Well you have to understand the most important factor of the world which is finances and how trading and producing more with the invested money co aside with another major thing in our society…. The pussy! Yes the Pussy once posted one of the highest values of any consumer product known to man kind. When pussy went on the clock? It would be PP (penis pandemonium) to get shares of that pussy. Pussy once went for very high rates per share, but in recent years those stocks have plummeted. Why might you ask?? What happened with the pussy that it’s no longer a good investment?? I’m here to break it down for you on what has happened and how to access your pussy to know if it’s value has crashed. Now the first thing you must realize is, their will be bailouts for the pussy. This will be important later, but just keep that in mind as I go through this.

Once upon the time, the pussy held great power in the trading goods department. Since the beginning of time, women have been trading pussy for personal gain. Remember Adam and Eve? Remember the Garden of Eden?? Remember the forbidden fruit? You guys thought they were talking about a actual garden, apple and stuff right? WRONG! That was about the PUSSY! Yes…the pussy! See God made Adam and Eve right? He told Adam “Adam my son, I will put you in this place where you can have anything you want, but I only forbid you from one thing!” Adam says “what my god?” God looks at Adam and says “ Do you see that other being over there? I forbid you from getting the pussy! That is a forbidden pussy my child”. Adam says “ o ok.. No problem my father. I must not have that forbidden pussy.” The problem was Adam didn’t even know what Pussy was but didn’t want to question God. So what happened after that? Here comes Eve thick ass walking over to Adam. Adam sizing her up and he was thinking “damn I wonder why this piece of flesh on feels like a tree branch.” Eve then shows him a hairy garden and says “Adam may you find what’s inside of my garden?” “I’m not sure what’s inside of your garden!” Adam says “but I most certainly may help you. I have a hard stick type utensil I will look with ”. Then he went into that garden and proceeded to stroke that Garden. That was the beginning of pussy being traded. The first sin in mankind was PUSSY!

From that point, Pussy has evolved. Women soon came to learn how valuable the pussy was. Maids used it to get Kings, Slaves used it to be house slaves, Marilyn Monroe used it to become famous and fuck presidents. Pussy was at a all time high in the early 90’s. You seen women fuck their way to the top of music, fashion, movies, even in the business world. Pussy was a very feasible investment. Ask any pimp you may know and ask them when was the most profitable pussy times. Pussy was the equivalent to gasoline now. Pussy was going for 4.89 a gallon back then.

So what changed? Why is the pussy now at a all time low? Well its simple, supply and demand. When other women started to see how other women were very profitable with their pussy’s, they too attempted to cash in. Problem was, not all pussy’s was created equal. You had a lot of pussy’s entering the stock market that wasn’t prepared. Now you have a stock market over crowded with pussy. The Pussy slowly devalued because once at one time you had sit down dine in, menu, wine and good steak pussy, but now its McDouble, Redbox and box wine pussy. Before you had to be selective with the pussy you went after because it could effect you for a while if you invested in the wrong pussy, but now? No problem just go get you some from the dollar menu pussy. Will dollar menu pussy be the same as sit down dine in pussy? No, but I bet your ass still get full! Sometimes its not about getting the best pussy, more times than not its about getting the most convenient pussy. See women be out here giving up the pussy for the low so men dont have to over invest in the pussy no more. Why go spend the time investing in something for the long haul when you can make 10 quick flips before you would see any gain from a more challenging flip?

There is no reason for any man to wait around for pussy these days, so ladies making a man wait and all of that type of stuff is pointless. While you’re trying to get all you can out of your pussy, it’s a endless supply of dollar menu pussy’s out here. So while you stuck on being the 3$ Big Mac on the Menu, he can just get a $1 McDouble, add lettuce and big mac sauce for 50 cent and for half the price have pretty much have the same sandwich. Truth is ladies if you want to up the value of your pussy? You must up the sales pitch so you can have bailout money to fall back on. For you who just totally missed the concept, Your pussy has crashed so try to convince a man to bail you out. In other words UP YOU! Because your pussy wont get you any further on the market than what the shares of the next pussy is going for.

While at work today I was gonna dedicate my article to why niggas prefer White girls, but as I was brainstorming, I decoded everything and broke it down why black men prefer White girls, become players, or assholes…. I’ll elaborate.

Growing up, a black boy is constantly guilt-tripped by his mother as she reminds him often of how much she had to sacrifice for him, how tired she is from working so hard and could use more of his help. Ask most professional ball players and rappers what the number one motivating factor was for making it big, and he’ll tell you: They did it for their mothers. Rarely if ever is the black father listed as a key motivational factor.

We even have creative terms we use for men who have placed their moms on pedestals. A lot of you ladies can attest to this one: how many times have you dated a nigga who turned out to be a momma’s boy? The term indicates a man who holds his mother in such high regard that it affects his relationships with other women in a negative way… So whoever said that black men don’t value black women is telling a got damn blatant lie.

Now contrast this with the way most black females are raised when it comes to having respect for black men. Most black chicks are raised in single parent homes, by a single mother. From her earliest years, she’s taught that men, particularly black men, are not to be relied on and trusted. She either learns this from observation based on the niggas who come in and out of her mother’s life, or she hears it directly from her mom, aunts and mom’s friends. Black women tell their daughters things like:

“Niggas ain’t shit.”
“Never rely on a man, be independent.” (If you so independent, then eat your own pussy then)
“Always have your own.”
“All men cheat.”
“All men are dogs.”
“Your father wasn’t shit.”
“You have to use what you got to get what you want.” (If your mother told you this, she was a hoe and you’re on your way to be one.)

If mom was particularly bitter towards dad after their breakup, its not uncommon for her to transfer this anger into her kids by the negative things she says about him in their presence…. Matter of fact add to this the constant barrage of negative images coming from the media that depict black men in a jacked up light: Everything from the nightly news that make it a point to primarily focus on crimes committed by black men, to movies such as Waiting to Exhale, What’s Love Got to Do With It, and every black woman’s all time favorite, The Color Purple. Fuck you Oprah. Fuck you!

By the time an American black woman has reached the age of 18, she’s been thoroughly indoctrinated into a belief that all niggas are untrustworthy, sneaky, conniving, and generally human beings of bad character.

Now here’s where my observation gets interesting. As black males begin to move into their dating age, we automatically transfer the love, admiration and respect we were taught for their mothers onto the chicks we date. But it doesn’t take long to figure out: a lot of young black chicks don’t respect the niggas who treat them right. They tend to go after the guys who treat them wrong! Wonderful logic you have there.

It only takes a few heartbreaks for a nigga to realize: ‘These hoes don’t want a nigga to be nice to them. They want a thug. Or a drug-dealer. Or a asshole. Because those seem to be the only guys these ladies actually respect.’

This is where niggas begin to reason: ‘Why should I treat hoes nice, when all I get out of it is ‘Lets just be friends’ AKA “Getting curved”? But then they come crying to me about some asshole who only makes them cry?!… Meanwhile, yall chicks wonder why niggas prefer White girls… And with that revelation, don’t complain about black men being with white women when all you show is shear disrespect.

Black men become Players and assholes because they realize that most Black chicks don’t want what they say they want, they tend to want the complete opposite. So they become that opposite. And that’s where your players come from.

Ladies: you are to blame for this phenomenon. Players are created by YOU!

If you ever ditched a good man for one you knew was bad for you, YOU CREATED A PLAYER.

If you ever cheated on your boyfriend with another nigga, YOU CREATED A PLAYER.

If you ever turned down a date with the nigga in college who was into his books, and said yes to a date with a nigga who was known to be a thug or a drug dealer, YOU CREATED A PLAYER.

See ladies, you have to own up to your mess. This isn’t bashing. This is real shit. Only immature chicks and deflectors won’t be able to handle this truth. We always hear about how guys are Players and assholes, but no one likes to talk about how men become one. So remember this the next time you and your girlfriends are sitting around talking shit about men… Players are not born, players are created. And chances are the last player who broke your heart was more than likely created by a female just like YOU.

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